I’m 20 and feel like an old lady! Many of my closest friends are now mothers. Kay with her 1 year old daughter Emma, Kris with her 1 year old son, and Dahlia and Heaven with their new born daughters. I can’t even imagine being them. I can’t imagine how aged THEY feel! And we’re all about the same age as each other.
I go to school early, have a short break, then work all night, then have to come home and worry about cleaning and taking care of the animals and MAYBE if I’m lucky I can get some me time (never happens by the way). I can’t imagine adding children into the mix! Already I feel stressed and my body hurts all over and I can’t get enough sleep, but let me tell you, my mommy friends are troopers.
Now the worst part on both ends with Mommy Friends, is you basically have no friends. When you’re a mommy, your whole life is your children, completely understandable and a lot of what it should be. But that leaves barely enough time for yourself, let alone other people. Now that sucks on my end because these four girls are pretty close to me and I barely see any of them anymore (let alone get to have a decent adult or girlfriend conversation)! My only three girlfriends left that aren’t mommy’s are Alexis, who is about 2 hours away at a private college most of the year, Courtney who actually works with me but who I still somehow hardly see/hang out with because we both seem to be busy every chance we have, and Ashley who I’ve recently become very close with.
Now when all your friends become mommys, you can say bye bye to sleep overs (but normally with girls you’re never too old for sleepovers). The closest thing you’ll get to a sleepover is a couple hours late at night together before going home to your own homes. And if you do have a sleep over, count on the little one being there (which I actually do love by the way). So all that girl time you used to have, doesn’t happen very much, and when it does it’s a lot shorter amount of time than you used to do. And well, that blows! Because as much as I love my man, my cats, my puppy, and my fish, sometimes a girl needs to do girly shit with her girlfriends. I’m not a VERY girly person but when I’m deprived girl time for months on end, it becomes more of a need than a want. And especially when all of us are very stressed, we need each other to lean on and that becomes more and more difficult to do.
So here were are, 19, 20, and 21 year olds, who all grew up before their time. You’ll hardly see us drink. Never at a club. Maybe a hookah bar once a year. You won’t see us cruising around at 3am anymore, looking for crazy shit to do. No more ghosts in the graveyard or fires by the river on summer nights. Nope. Our fun time is maybe getting a relaxing bath into our busy schedules. Or a nice trip to Adventureland on a weekend, and even then we used to spend all day there, and now we ride five rides, swim, then go home. And when we do get some time together, the craziest thing we’ll do is probably only talk about all our crazy memories in our high school years. And maybe that’s okay.
When I’m with one of my girls we’re able to be ourselves. We’re able to laugh and update each other on everything that’s happened like we were never apart from each other at all. We’re able to lie in bed together, half naked, watching chick flicks and feel completely comfortable. And it’s not often you have friends like that. So even though I don’t get to see or talk to them as often as I want, I think I’d choose my grown up life with my big girl friends than be drinking my weekends away. I’d rather have the girls I’m close to by my side every now and then, than to be surrounded by fake people who are constantly around when they need something not because they actually enjoy being around you.
Sometimes I look at other people my age and really get hurt thinking I’m missing out on so much. But then I remember that “Hey! I have an amazing job that I love. I pay all my bills in full and on time. I’m not in debt. I don’t need to beg my family for money. I have my own car, my own place, food in my fridge. I can provide well for myself, and for my fur babies. I go to school in the mornings and am excelling in all my classes. I get to come home at night to a clean home and be able to sleep next to the man I love. I spend my weekends with my family. And yeah, it may all be a ball of stress sometimes, but would I really want to have it any other way?” No, I wouldn’t. So maybe some people may think I’m missing out, hell, even sometimes I wonder that myself. But I have people who understand that growing up young and feeling old may just be a lot better than spending my youth in other ways.